Why this song so sad? :(



Bruno Mars - When I Was Your Man

Same bed, but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio, but it don't sound the same
When our friends talk about you all that it does is just tear me down
Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name
And it all just sound like uh, uh, uh

Hmmm too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
Should have gave you all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man.

My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes
It all just sounds like uh, uh, uh, uh

Too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
Should have gave all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man.

Although it hurts I'll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want you to know
I hope he buys you flowers, I hope he holds your hand
Give you all his hours when he has the chance
Take you to every party cause I remember how much you loved to dance
Do all the things I should have done when I was your man!
Do all the things I should have done when I was your man!

*** ***

In other news, back from the bitter cold in Shanghai! Aside from the blistering wind and my frozen hands, it was a pretty chillax trip. Ate so much good food! And my face never oils up there! I need to move to a country with that kind of climate AND allows access Facebook and Twitter. Hah. :D

So I was just minding my own business and moving on with my life when I found myself embroiled in some drama again recently.

I've had some pretty awful and nasty accusations hurled at me (inhumane, disgusting, beast, out to ruin and humiliate him) when I did not even do anything and I wonder why I had the misfortune to meet people who are just so screwed up. Issit I owe him a lot in my past life or something? 0_o

Also, please do not anyhow drag me into your shit. I am not a convenient thing that you can use as a scapegoat. You can have him for FREE! Seriously. Take him! Nobody is fighting over him with you!

On an unrelated (or maybe somewhat related) note, I was chatting with Beefy and presented this scenario to him:

Say there is a girl who really likes you but due to various reason you know both of you have no future together.
But the girl says it's ok, I'll be with you till you find someone else.
Time passes. Girl treats you very well, both of you are happy together, click well, understand each other and enjoys each other's company.
One day you meet another girl whom you think there is a possibility of a future with.
In your mind you think, we spoke about this before and we both agreed to let each other go when we find someone better.
So you leave and get together with the new girl.
The old girl is devastated, but is she entitled to be sad and think of you as an asshole?

Beefy's reply was: "She has the right to be upset but she must bear in mind that she agreed to it."

This is jerk's version of the story and what he told his friends. All his friends think he is at no fault. It seems like the fault belongs to the girl after all - at the end of the day, she asked for it. It's called 自作多情，自找麻烦，白痴愚蠢的行为。

Haha! Wisdom... it always comes too late, and only with the benefit of hindsight.

Found myself in a totally ludicrous situation...

Seriously...!!!! -__-

23 hours was all it took for him to cave. Seriously dude. Grow a spine can or not?

Don't keep the popcorn just yet, I smell another breakup coming soon...

Then again, I may have sufficiently pissed him off such that he doesn't want to share details of his exciting and dramatic love life with me any more. Which may be a good thing.

Break Up Count: 13895 times and counting.

Playing Aunt Agony again, out with the popcorn, watching the drama unfold!

昨晚的号啕大哭，真的有吓到我一下下。 “你是自找的，活该！” - 这样的念头有想过。Deep down I'm thinking, this is karma!

这样的痛苦，我也有经历过。虽然是很想很想让他尝一尝这种求生不得，求死不能的痛，做人还是不要这样恶毒。

可是反过来想一下，after all the shit he did to me, 这种人也不值得我去同情，你说是吗？反而我觉得, this is letting him off too lightly!

Any bets on how long it will take this time for them to patch?

11 月1日出生的人

爱情运：
今天出生的人，恋爱大都不平静，也不平凡。因为在这一天出生的人，具有激烈的情感和强而有力的性欲，以及支配欲。
对恋人有时候表现得极为温柔体贴，可是一下子却又变得很残酷；有时候表现得很热情，有时候却又显得极为冷淡。对自己所爱的对象极为忠实，却也很善妒，同时希望对方付出与自己同等深切的感情。

今天出生的寿星，对异性而言，是相当具有魅力的，但是，在开始交往的初期，天蝎座绝对不会轻易泄露他的缺点。不过，千万不要大意， 也许你一直都可以感觉得到，似乎有人在不知不觉中，悄悄的靠近你，直到你察觉，你已经被他掳获了。再也没有人比今天出生的人，具有更巧妙，且更自然的方 法，在不知不觉中去掳获或欺骗他人的心。今天出生的人骄傲自满，这可以从他对周围的人称赞或恭维的话中看出来。他们想要控制所有的人，而且极端厌恶懦弱的 人。想要和今天出生的人好好交往，要有随机应变的智慧，以及强而有力的性格；这样才能获得他那充满精神性以及肉体性的热情爱恋。

Hurhur so I am the type who will sneakily capture your heart without you realizing it. That must be part of my hidden charm that I have yet to discover. But one point is right, I expect the other party to 付出 as much as I do. 我是具有激烈的情感的人ok!

Anyway the asshole has decided to break and patch with his girlfriend for the umpteenth time... whatevs, I don't even take him seriously anymore when he says "It's over". Asshole is someone who cannot stand being lonely, who is so desperate for companionship that when the girl threatens to leave, he will beg her to stay. He thinks that the love he has for her is like, oh-so-great and nobody else can possibly love her and accept her as much as he does. Asshole also on the other hand, complains that he is being treated like a dog, not respected, and cannot stand her princessy and spendthrift ways, among many other things...

As of Christmas Eve, they broke up (for real this time, he says. He even removed her from Facebook so that means he's dead serious!) because she can't stand his hot temper and as of Christmas day, they're back together again! (And yes, he added her back as a Facebook friend. And then blocked me the very next day.)

爱情是这样给你们玩弄的吗？说分就分，说在一起就在一起？超幼稚。

I think they totally deserve each other and they are a perfect match. Even though I hate to say this, but they look compatible (definitely much better than me with him). So continue playing your childish mind games with each other. Of course after all the shit he put me through, I have no intention of wishing them happiness but ok, 做人要适可而止。I cannot be too evil if not I also won't get good karma.

It's been 1.5 months but I'm still feeling very bitter. I've been offloading everything onto a colleague over the past 2 days and constantly bashing the other party. Definitely not the most ideal way and admittedly not the most moralistic way but I do feel marginally better. It's all that hate and disgust in my system that I need to get out.

According to what I read, there are usually 5-7 stages of grief. Shock and disbelief, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression, acceptance. I crashed at the anger, bargaining, guilt, depression stage all at once. I agree, it's a bitter pill to swallow. But I have to learn how to swallow it to move on. Forgive but not forget. Because they are disgusting and they deserve each other.

There has been much talk about it being the end of the world on 21st December. Honestly, I don't mind if the end of the world comes. There's nothing much to look forward to anyway. Work's a drag. My productivity has plunged to an all time low since last month. This month's even worse since nobody's around. My boss wants to talk to me about KPIs tomorrow. I don't even know if I want to continue doing whatever huge plans he has for me.

Everyone has to die some day anyway. I don't mind dying because I have pretty much lived my life the way I wanted. No regrets. Yanzz said that's such a pessimistic way of seeing things and that there's so many things out there for me to do! Skydiving, traveling, running marathons, gaining new experiences - but life still goes on even if we don't do them right? They are just optional items in this irritating thing called life that we have to go through. So what exactly are we living for then?

Not mind dying doesn't mean I want to die. Am not suicidal. But yeah, if we have to die, then we have to die. If a speeding car comes towards me, I am not sure if I will run. Maybe in that moment when you are really gonna die, you will see your life flashing in front of you and you will be seized by panic and fear and then you will run. But yeah I dunno. Anything can happen.

Also met another jerk yesterday whose parting words for me were "Perhaps you can start looking at what you possess first before looking at others."

Ungracious much? The world is filled with unappreciative idiots seriously. Read some story on Facebook about how a guy dumped his fiance for another girl when their wedding was 2 months away. Really disillusioned. Given up hope on men. They can go and screw themselves.

I happened to read certain stuff from a forum about a week back that disturbed me greatly.

Basically it was a forum where people (especially men) go to boast about their "conquests".
And the shocking thing (to me) was the number of people out there who cheat on their partners!!!

Cheat liao, never mind, they still find lame excuses to justify their cheating, saying that they get bored with their wives, it's just for the sex, at the end of the day they still return home, they still love their wives because their wives are the ones who have gone through a lot with them and are the providers of comfort and mother of their children. Or that nature has made them such that they have the urge to sow their seeds and screw as many people as possible, for variety perhaps?

Bullshit I say. Totally unacceptable.

People have increasingly cavalier attitudes towards sex, to them it's probably nothing more than an act in which you indulge in to gain pleasure. I think people probably don't even expect their partners to be virgins nowadays. But this has raised my awareness and brought me to the attention of the fact that men think with their dicks. This has never been more glaring or more real to me till now.

Maybe I have always been safely cocooned in my little bubble and have had very little exposure to all the lusty, lecherous wolves out there. After reading the forum I realized there really are a lot of sick people out there, out prowling for their prey.

Of course, the internet population is not representative of all men and I half-suspect the good ones won't be even posting in that forum. There are probably a small handful of good ones out there, but right now I have kinda lost faith in humanity and especially men. (And besides, at this age the good ones are probably all taken.) Maybe, 8 or 9 out of 10 men would cheat IF opportunity presented itself. It's hard to resist temptation. If I unfortunately marry someone who turns out to be a lying, cheating scumbag who can't control the blood down south, then I wonder, really, there is no point in getting married and opening yourself to so much hurt and betrayal. Maybe I won't even want to know and would prefer to be kept in the dark. Because being the loser that I am, I may love the fella so much that I would just take him back. (and/or castrate him. Hmmm.)

I'm aware that ladies cheat too, and increasingly more of them do. I don't get this. If you are gonna vow to be together through thick and thin and all that shit, is it so difficult to just stick to your vows? If you know you are a player, then don't bloody get married or commit to someone.

Then again I'm not married, can't walk a mile in their shoes. Maybe they are trapped in a loveless marriage but can't leave because of the kids. Shrugs. There can be thousands of reasons. But I still stand by the fact that cheating is wrong. I really hope this will not happen to me, or any of my friends and loved ones. Can't even start to imagine the crushing pain this would bring man.

Yes, the world is still filled with bigoted, chauvinistic men like this fine specimen below. A supposedly educated young man.






It may be said in jest but I don't find it amusing. I find it highly condescending and degrading, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who finds his views extremely archaic and downright insulting. Women are not commodities and yes dude, since you feel women 'sux', you have also successfully insulted who the woman who brought you to this world. Talk about generalization.

If you do not learn how to respect women, then don't come and kpkb if girls treat you like shit.

It is times like this when I feel that chivalry has ceased to exist and that all men are scum. Yes, I am also committing the crime of generalizing, but are there still somewhat decent men around? Who are not attached, married or gay? I am not so sure.