So I was just minding my own business and moving on with my life when I found myself embroiled in some drama again recently.

I've had some pretty awful and nasty accusations hurled at me (inhumane, disgusting, beast, out to ruin and humiliate him) when I did not even do anything and I wonder why I had the misfortune to meet people who are just so screwed up. Issit I owe him a lot in my past life or something? 0_o

Also, please do not anyhow drag me into your shit. I am not a convenient thing that you can use as a scapegoat. You can have him for FREE! Seriously. Take him! Nobody is fighting over him with you!

On an unrelated (or maybe somewhat related) note, I was chatting with Beefy and presented this scenario to him:

Say there is a girl who really likes you but due to various reason you know both of you have no future together.
But the girl says it's ok, I'll be with you till you find someone else.
Time passes. Girl treats you very well, both of you are happy together, click well, understand each other and enjoys each other's company.
One day you meet another girl whom you think there is a possibility of a future with.
In your mind you think, we spoke about this before and we both agreed to let each other go when we find someone better.
So you leave and get together with the new girl.
The old girl is devastated, but is she entitled to be sad and think of you as an asshole?

Beefy's reply was: "She has the right to be upset but she must bear in mind that she agreed to it."

This is jerk's version of the story and what he told his friends. All his friends think he is at no fault. It seems like the fault belongs to the girl after all - at the end of the day, she asked for it. It's called 自作多情，自找麻烦，白痴愚蠢的行为。

Haha! Wisdom... it always comes too late, and only with the benefit of hindsight.

Found myself in a totally ludicrous situation...

Seriously...!!!! -__-

In my attempt to erm, widen my sad little social circle and meet more people of the opposite gender, I have found myself in a rather strange situation LOL.

So I met this guy whom we shall call Beefy, through our government's best efforts at getting people to date. Beefy was extremely polite and gentlemanly - a little overly so - and is quite the planner and puts in a lot of effort for a simple date, but there is no KABOOM FIZZ BIZZ SPIZZZZ type of chemistry or that relaxed, easy chatter youknowwhatimean?

After several whatsapp conversations, I started to worry a little that he was looking to enter something serious - so I decided to be straightforward and tell him not to expect too much. On the same day after that revelation, he told me that there was this girl that he liked and that she rejected him because she was still getting over her ex. I was a little suspicious and I thought he might be referring to me, so I responded back in third person and again played the comforting role (hahahaha sounds familiar? Why do I always have to do that!).

But again after several whatsapp conversations, I realized that there was really this other girl who exists and whom he is pretty keen on! And I also started to realize that he was actively seeking my opinion on girl behaviour, presumably so that he can extrapolate this information and apply it on the girl he's interested in. Dude's a pretty emo person despite his beefy exterior (I know right, why do I keep attracting emo types?!) and maybe I give out Aunt Agony vibes or I have "Good Listener" tattooed across my forehead in ink that is only visible to the emo tribe, I dunno. And that's how now I find myself to be his sounding board and sample size of one. LOL.

Maybe the problem lies with myself - I seem to fall back into this trap of listening, advising, encouraging, comforting... like a #wiseoldsage. Is that what I do best? Hmmm alternative career choice - maybe I should have become a counsellor instead LOL. Hey but at least this time round it's not so bad because Beefy has been pretty much friendzoned by me now so I don't mind listening and giving him advice (at least he is appreciative). It's still a friend gained!

Meeting new people is hard man. I have this tendency to want to just lapse back into my all-female social circle and not budge coz it is comfortable and reassuring. It's annoying to have to keep repeating the same old lines that summarizes who I am as a person. My job, my hobbies, my family, the experiences I've been through. It's too troublesome to let another new person into your life. Like what Ariel Lin's character said in 我可能不会爱你 - “懒得交新朋友的原因 是因为懒得从头交代自己的人生。” How very true!!!!

So far I've met 3 people including Beefy - the first really CMI, the 3rd one is actually a good catch if not for the fact that he smokes and is younger. Haha. Are my standards very high??? I only ask for:

1) NO SMOKERS - nothing personal against smokers, but I really hate cigarette smoke :x
2) Should be humorous/funny/interesting/can click/got chemistry
3) Preferably older
4) Preferably taller

Not very hard? I think? :x

Haha ah heck I think I'm just looking around to play and test my market value. I am a closet commitment-phobe actually. LOL.

This is what it boils down to - the saviour complex - and I am suffering from it.

http://www.peopleskillsdecoded.com/savior-complex/
http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-12-05/man-woman/34553898_1_financial-assistance-opposite-roles-personal-issues

Haha I've got some shocking photos ahead.

I'm 27 now and I basically spent the prime of my youth being fat. Hahaha. When I look back this in future I can laugh at how bad I looked in my 20s.

So I tried to find not so flattering photos of myself with terrible angles especially during the period when I was fat... goodness why didn't anybody tell me I looked so bad? Hahahaha. Well now you have been warned as we take a walk down memory lane...
 

20th birthday, still got that 青春 look hor

21st birthday

22nd birthday - just before I entered the workforce. Getting plump!

 

OMG SIYI WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?! It's like I just exploded LOL. 23rd birthday btw hahaha

This was in April 2009, the figure is just 三层肉 please

March 2010, on my sis's birthday. I'm like double the size of my sister :(

June 2010 which is around the period when I started to slim down I think. The best way to lose weight? Get your heart broken hahahahaha #truestory

25th birthday

26th birthday. Ok this one the angle is misleading, it makes my face look sharper when it's probably not haha

27th birthday, this one also misleading angle

Not so long after 27th birthday

Ahaha are you still reeling from the aftershock? Seriously the period of one's early-mid 20s should be when they are most attractive, most youthful, most exuberant, most vibrant and most energetic... and I'm like... a glob of lard. Hahahaha. Thank goodness I've now started to erm, keep a healthier lifestyle. Hopefully my face and figure won't revert back to those days hurhur. I lost a lot of my photos from 2008 to 2010 thanks to my old computer which crashed... (that's why I had no photo of my 24th birthday boohoo) I think that was probably so that I won't be reminded of my fat and ugly days hahaha. And if you want to know how I will look like when pregnant? I think those pictures will serve as useful reference LOL.

My sister says I don't look like I aged that much, that's very consoling! :D I hope I still look the same on my 28th, 29th and 30th birthday. Anyway may these photos serve as a good reminder for myself and serve as motivation if you want to lose weight. :)

23 hours was all it took for him to cave. Seriously dude. Grow a spine can or not?

Don't keep the popcorn just yet, I smell another breakup coming soon...

Then again, I may have sufficiently pissed him off such that he doesn't want to share details of his exciting and dramatic love life with me any more. Which may be a good thing.

Break Up Count: 13895 times and counting.

Playing Aunt Agony again, out with the popcorn, watching the drama unfold!

昨晚的号啕大哭，真的有吓到我一下下。 “你是自找的，活该！” - 这样的念头有想过。Deep down I'm thinking, this is karma!

这样的痛苦，我也有经历过。虽然是很想很想让他尝一尝这种求生不得，求死不能的痛，做人还是不要这样恶毒。

可是反过来想一下，after all the shit he did to me, 这种人也不值得我去同情，你说是吗？反而我觉得, this is letting him off too lightly!

Any bets on how long it will take this time for them to patch?

The ultimate trying to get over somebody song. Why would I want to find someone like you? The whole point is to find someone NOT like you LOL.



Adele - Someone Like You

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.

就很后悔认识了这个烂人, 觉得是我人生中的一个污点。

怎么刷, 怎么洗, 污点还是污点。这是改变不了的残酷事实。